Intimidation by Military PTSD
So, the conflicts of war in ’71 and the issue of dog-tags depending on who you are become a kind of tattoo wrapped around your bloody neck like a hangman’s noose, well, it just sort of became my duty. Our flag was my heart and soul…still is. Onward into the scenario of combat zones, firefights, explosives, flares, and M-60 cartridges spent with their gutted shells heading for their targets. Thus, we are taught the art of war. My emptied blood vessels and organ tissues cry in anguished pain with fragments forced upon my nerve-damaged spine with blood and sweat snaking down my paralyzed form. Shit! I’m hit! I’m hit! I have been forced into this surrealistic combat zone where barbed wire spikes break the skin as derelict voices command me to keep moving with the stinging, burning sweat and dirt in a fevered pitch on a hot April day in ’72.
And, just nights before in his concupiscent rage a rogue Marine fed his hunger for salted flesh with forced penetration of mouth and core, thrust his moistened lips around me as I kicked and thrashed in my slumbered daze yelling, “What the fuck are you doing?” – John G Evans
Should You Require Support Call the Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255.
My Techniques for a Fine Art Portrait through Digital Imagery & Photography
My most intimate passion is helping others who suffer and struggle with the hardship of Military PTSD and I like to aspire through a successful photographic dialogue with individuals who must confront this horrendous demon to assist in allowing the Veteran to understand they are not alone.
The mood of Military PTSD is dark and lacks hope. US Veterans & Military Service Members struggling with this disorder may be lost to such delusional thinking as suicidal ideation. I did for nearing thirty years. I slept with a knife next to me to end the life I knew as pain during the worst of the nightmares encountered from night to night. I even placed a loaded weapon against my chin but did not pull the trigger. Often, I ask myself why? And, I suspect I know the answer why. No matter how much doom and gloom we face, hope will always shed her confidence through our courage facing our ruminating thoughts. It is not easy and has taken me since 1972 to figure this out, but I was fortunate, I had a small child to help raise. Gratefully, she became the often time cliched wind beneath my wings. Miraculously, and with the very distant hopes life would get better I rode these tsunami, congested thoughts of dread by being dead believing life does become worth living.
My technique for creating in a color-grading format depends upon several variables, i.e. software, exposure, applying light just right, compositions, and poses. I am skilled by my camera and lighting. At times I will use a natural light but thus far have become proficient with artificial lighting with my 36” modified deep dish octabox. I use this setup to bring out the color, shadow, and light with every scene I produce. I enjoy my results.
A Brief Commentary by Judith C Evans
My husband, photographer, author and poet John Evans, has lived with the trauma of this military memory for nearly 50 years. During the 10 years that we have been married, we have walked together through the storm of PTSD. The healing power of John’s fine art photography inspires me every day — and will inspire you too as you look through this website.
John seeks to tell a story with every image he captures. Whether it’s fine art portraits or photojournalism, his goal is to communicate a bit of the truth behind the image. He approaches every subject matter with courage and clarity, even if it means looking traumatic memories squarely in the eye. John’s creativity in turn helps to heal the still fresh worlds from the “surrealistic combat zone” of half a century ago. Additionally, his goal is to inspire others to heal through creativity and photography.
John Evans offers high quality, fine art photographs for purchase. He is also available as a portrait photographer, to help you tell your story. Contact us if you would like to discuss a portrait session. We look forward to hearing from you. – Judith C Evans